you will never read this. Might as well. I'll start.
I think i still love you.
And i don't think it'd going to change for a very long time. Sometimes you're all i think about.
Remember the last few times i went out with you in december? That stupid quarrel on your brithday. Then the break up just 5 days after that. Trust me, it'd not like i din't know it was going to happen sooner or later. Did you know i spent days and nights crying on my bed. Not so much aner i am supposing. But a lot more of guilt, and a whole lot more of sadness.
You know, i tried so hard to get you back. I went to churches with my mum because she wanted to, and for the first time in my life have i ever prayed so hard to have someone love me all my life. Even though it sounds naive, i really would've done anything for you at that time. That day on your birthday, i wrote you a leter, but you probably never read it. Or you probably don't even have it. I cired whilst writing it, tears are splashed over that dreaded piece of paper. And you will never know that. I don't think its so much of not knowing, but rather that of not caring. but it's okay. You really don't have to care now.
I remember the way we used to send emails and you were afraid your father would check them so we did it over friendster instead. That was step one to doom of relationship i am guessing. But who i am to blame. Myself, i suppose. Running off to china liek that and treating you like dirt. You know, i tell you now, i laugh at you now, telling you that you remember all these things about our relationship that i remember nothing about now. Bu truth is they run over in my head liek a broken stereo. But that's another thing you will never know. I am thinking that's better for us.
Want to know what i remember? You going to the chalet, that Krystle girl with you breaking my heart to pieces, days of messaging you knowing you were never going to message me back. You telling me to stop asking you if you loved me. I knew you didn't. I asked you for security. irony is: I didnt get any. Didn't get you either anyway.
What else do i remember... is it important. The first kiss, the first everything. We're over. Yes i must remember that. remember.
Okay. We;re over now. Over for 2 years.
I love you baby.